Who are you? How do you define yourself?

When introducing ourselves we often do so by explaining what we do for work. It seems that the determining factor to the questions above hinge on what we do for a living. And although our work does comprise the majority of our waking hours, there is so much more to a person than their chosen profession.

However, in this topsy-turvy world of smoke and mirrors, things are rarely what they seem. We are hesitant to focus on our character-traits and the essence that make us who we are. We find it difficult to explain a reason why we are put on this Earth, and what makes us different.

For this reason (among others) I have often taken off with my backpack, leaving behind all I know (job, friends and even family) and everything that made me comfortable to put myself in new circumstances where I am attached to nothing and no one. To start from scratch, in a manner of speaking. In that new space, the true inner voice can be better heard and one’s definition of self becomes simpler.

I believe that a driving force for existence is growth.

The online dictionary defines growth as:
“Development from a lower or simpler to a higher or more complex form; evolution”

In my own life growth is a major priority. Often, if things are going great and I am very comfortable it means that it’s time to move on to something different; in order to continue to grow, new challenges must be undertaken. Moving on can be geographical, work related or can even be a cue to consider social involvements.

Fear is the enemy of growth. We fear change. We fear challenges. We fear many things. Often we live our lives as if what we fear is reality. Therefore, we place restrictions on our possibilities and potential accomplishments according to these fears.

Life is a process. Things change constantly. Maintaining the status quo means not only is one not moving forward, but in the act of standing still as everything else advances, one is essentially being left behind!

We can learn a valuable lesson from gardens. In maintaining a healthy and lush garden, we know that things need to be weeded and pruned. This “weeding” and “pruning” sessions allow for the dead and unnecessary parts of the plant to be cut up and cleared away so that more energy can be directed to the areas that are growing and vital.

This is also true in our personal lives. We often feed energy into aspects that are wasteful- these parts, though we may be hesitant to admit it, may be dead or no longer vital; such as relationships, a job we hate, or pain or anger at something that happened long ago. These negative aspects which sap the energy from our lives need to be “pruned” so that we can grow bigger and stronger.

How do we measure how we’ve grown or even ensure that we are growing at all? Jewish wisdom teaches us that the mitzvot (Biblical obligations) that are most challenging are the ones where we have the greatest potential for growth.

We all know that the areas where we have exerted most effort are often where we find the most reward. Things that come easily to us are rarely appreciated. However, the pain we undertake and survive gives us depth and courage to move forward as individuals with greater capacity to give and to love.

We cannot always control the events in our lives; yet we do control our responses to them. I remember a 3-day trek my mom dragged my entire family on back when I lived in South Africa. During the second day, there was a large river crossing. The challenge was to swim across a wide river channel connected to the ocean, while floating our backpacks ahead of us. The idea of this terrified me, as I have always been a weak swimmer and am afraid of currents and deep water. So when our group arrived, I decided my fear would not hold me back. I was the first to jump in and cross to the other side. Of course, I’m only human- and I did have to sit back and calm my pounding, fluttering heart while the others made their way across to catch up with me. This is the way I’ve always tackled my fears – head on. They say to “look before you leap”, but I think the best technique is leap before you have the time to think- otherwise you get too nervous and can be paralyzed by fear. Nike got it right – Just do it!

How we face the curveballs that life throws at us is what determines our character. We grow when we achieve something that seemed difficult or impossible to us. If we try and fail, then we’ve failed. Big deal. But if we never try at all…then we will never know.

Yes, there might be pain in failure, but to quote a wonderful, yet little-known play The Teahouse of the August Moon:
“Pain makes man think. Thought makes man wise. Wisdom makes life endurable.”

I’d like to give us all a blessing that we face our deepest fears head-on, and that in the challenge our true strength is revealed. We all have the Divine Spark within us and are connected to the Source of all.

May we understand with clarity that the G-d-given potential within each of us far exceeds even our wildest dreams.

I arrived in Los Angeles in July 2005. It was the hardest year of my entire life.

The trauma of my brother’s serious accident and almost marrying a person who could not have possibly been more wrong for me weighed heavily on my heart. I’d been in LA all of 6 miserable months and had just walked out on the man I was to marry only weeks hence.

Yet, at the height of all this turmoil, G-d had a plan that was way beyond my comprehension at the time.

The day I ended my engagement, is the exact same day of the meeting that birthed JconnectLA. Thankfully, instead of what would have certainly been a failed marriage, I committed myself to and married a vision- one that would change the course of my existence.

Although I was working for LINK (a Jewish non-profit in Westwood) at the time, Cheston and I decided that I would put my energy into a new project called ‘JconnectLA’. It was the vision of Jewish Unity- a plan to create a Jewish experience in LA that would bring together Jews from any cultural or religious background in a space that was warm, fun and hip.

Within months, Jconnect had grown so much that I had to leave LINK to develop this project full-time. I took the leap, even though Jconnect was not yet registered as its own entity, and left LINK- running Jconnect from a computer, desk and phone in my apartment for the next 6 months.

Jconnect’s success and growth led to our establishment as a 501(c)(3) and subsequent substantial donations eventually led to moving from my bedroom into a nice new office in Century City. That was around July of 2006.

I put all the passion and energy I had into my new life in Los Angeles and the vision of bringing the Los Angeles Jewish community together.

After the pain of the previous year, it felt so good to be driven by a purpose larger than myself.
I lived and breathed Jconnect for the next 3 years. I was at every birthday party, every hike, every trip and every social gathering I knew of. Sometimes, doing the circuit meant 3 or 4 parties in a single night….. And I was loving every minute.

I got to meet wonderful, creative, friendly individuals who were interesting and were supportive of the work I was doing. The relationships Cheston Mizel had created around his Shabbat table all those years ago had solidified into not just a well known and respected organization, but also into a community of friends- and some even deeper. Family.

So, as I explored my surroundings and met Jews from all possible walks of life, I always carried with me this passion and love of the Jewish people. It was my drive- the source of my energy and my inspiration.

Yet, I was never content. I could not sit at home EVER, for fear of missing the fun. I did not want to admit it, but I was still on the run. I was having a blast, living the life, driving my convertible around sunny LA, and regular roller blading sessions on the beach… Does life get any better?

YES, it does.

In 2008 I met my soul-mate. In true poetic justice he waltzed into my life at the Jconnect event we had Lynn Finson, the Educational Director of Midreshet Rachel in Israel speaking.

Her topic: "Finding your basherte (soul-mate), why does it take so long?"

So, a new chapter began. Being omnipresent in the Jewish LA social scene became less of a priority as I was faced with the internal challenge of being in a real, meaningful relationship. Having been hurt in the past, I had to change my focus to trusting. Being vulnerable and able to receive proved to be more of an effort than expected. I found myself shifting and changing and confronting insecurities and fears that, until that point, I had not recognized even existed.

On our first date we discussed our mutual dream of spending a year in Israel learning together- building a foundation for our marriage built on Torah spirituality and service of Truth. Throughout the months we dated we continued to communicate our life long goals. At some point the hypothetical scenario’s of our ideal reality began to take shape into definite plans. We began to follow through…

"Hineni" - Here I am.
Saying farewell.

The last few years in LA have been the best I’ve ever lived. I discovered my essence, made peace with my past. Now I go to my future, to Israel, and the next adventure.

Thank you for being a part of my journey. May your journey be pleasant, full of light and laughter


Although Israel seems far away, with technology, its easy to stay in contact.

Please be in touch, it would be great to hear from you:
Website: http://www.michaltaviv.weebly.com
Email: [email protected]
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/MichalTavivMargolese
Twitter: MichalMargolese
Skype: mtaviv

Israel’s National Anthem, Hatikva (The Hope), has some pretty deep lyrics:

“As long as in the heart, within,
A Jewish soul still yearns,
And onward, towards the ends of the east,
An eye still gazes toward Zion;
Our hope is not yet lost,
The hope of two thousand years,
To be a free people in our land,
The land of Zion and Jerusalem.”

Many of us who have been to Israel remember that feeling of getting off the plane as it landed in the Ben Gurion Airport and heaving that deep sigh of relief.
“Wow, I’m home” is what crossed my mind as I bent down, as the urge to kiss the ground overwhelmed me.

There is a connection between the Jewish people, G-d and the land of Israel that has always existed and always will. Nothing can ever break this bond. It is our duty and moral obligation to support our land and people not only with words and ideas but also with our financial and physical resources as well.

History has shown us that Israel can only flourish under the leadership of Jews. It has been controlled by many other nations throughout its turbulent history, and the land withers and turns into a barren desert under foreign reign. However, under Jewish control somehow the land becomes fertile and blooms.

In the Torah portion, Shelach Lecha (Send for Yourself), 12 spies were sent to scout out the land of Israel. The poignant story is told of how all but 2 of the spies returned an unfavorable report to the Jewish people:

“They brought forth to the Children of Israel an evil report on the Land that they had spied out….” (Numbers 13:32)

How could our own people return with the idea of “boycotting” the Holy Land, and how could the Israelites buy into it?! After all the miracles performed by G-d, including the 10 plagues, the splitting of the Reed Sea, plus all the miracles He performed in the dessert, it seems inconceivable that the Jews would think that G-d took them out of Egypt just to have them die in Israel. The narrative goes on to describe in detail the extreme punishment meted out for this lack of faith.

Their lack of faith is still being echoed today. We know we have an obligation either to support Israel, or live in the land itself. At the very least we should make an effort to speak only positively about the land. Yet, the reality is obviously far different. Many of us choose to believe the “evil reports” and condemn our holy home.

I believe this is due to fear; fear of supporting the “unpopular” opinion; fear of taking responsibility for our own potential; fear of laying claim to our purpose in this world and making the leap out of our comfort zone of material luxury into the unknown- following the path we were created to blaze.

If you consider what has been accomplished since Israel’s birth in 1948, it simply boggles the mind! Israel, the 100th smallest country in the world, with less than .12% of the world’s population has made astonishing progress in multiple areas. Here are examples of just a few:

* The cell phone was developed in Israel by Israelis working in the Israeli branch of Motorola, which has its largest development center in Israel.

* Both the Pentium-4 microprocessor and the Centrino processor were entirely designed, developed and produced in Israel.

* The Pentium microprocessor in your computer was most likely made in Israel

* Voice mail technology was developed in Israel.

* The technology for the AOL Instant Messenger ICQ was developed in 1996 by four young Israelis.

* Israel ’s $100 billion economy is larger than all of its immediate neighbors combined .

* Israel has the highest ratio of university degrees to the population in the world.

* Israel produces more scientific papers per capita than any other nation by a large margin - 109 per 10,000 people — as well as one of the highest per capita rates of patents filed.

* Israel is ranked #2 in the world for venture capital funds right behind the U.S.

* Outside the United States and Canada, Israel has the largest number of NASDAQ listed companies.

* On a per capita basis, Israel has the largest number of biotech startups.

* Israel is the only liberal democracy in the Middle East.

* In 1984 and 1991, Israel airlifted a total of 22,000 Ethiopian Jews (Operation Solomon) at risk in Ethiopia, to safety in Israel.

* When Golda Meir was elected Prime Minister of Israel in 1969, she became only the second elected female leader in the world in modern times.

* Israel has the third highest rate of entrepreneurship — and the highest rate among women and among people over 55 - in the world.

* Medicine - Israeli scientists developed the first fully computerized, no-radiation, diagnostic instrumentation for breast cancer.

* Israel’s Given Imaging developed the first ingestible video camera, so small it fits inside a pill. Used to view the small intestine from the inside, cancer and digestive disorders.

* An Israeli company was the first to develop and install a large-scale solar-powered and fully functional electricity generating plant, located in southern California’s Mojave Desert.
For additional facts about Israel, click here.

“A land flowing with milk and honey” is how Israel was described in the Torah. But our continued efforts and support of the land are required to turn this Biblical description into a present reality. The existence of the state of Israel is no less than a miracle. Now it’s our job to contribute to this miracle by supporting a nation that is home to the entire Jewish family.

Each and every one of us can make a difference; we can help support the economy of Israel in these difficult times by specifically requesting Israeli products. We must especially do so at places like Trader Joe’s where other misguided souls believe the anti-Zionist propaganda and are boycotting Israeli goods.

In these trying economic times, now more than ever, there are people starving and unemployed in Israel. Not living in the Land does not mean that we can just sit back and not help. We can make a huge impact and we must!

According to Jewish tradition, if we want to make the world a better place, we have to start first with our own family and then our community- and that process will, in effect, change the world for the better. It is our duty as Jews to support our brothers and sisters who are going through some very challenging times. For without Israel, the world would be a worse place. This is something that we must prevent at all costs- the time to act is NOW!!!

For more info on how YOU can help click here.

“James W. von Brunn, an 88-year-old rifle-wielding white supremacist from Maryland (a known Holocaust denier who created an anti-Semitic website) entered Washington’s Holocaust museum on Wednesday afternoon, fatally shooting a security guard before being wounded himself by return fire from other guards, authorities said.” [1]

From the inception of the Jewish people as a nation, we have faced animosity, persecution and vicious slaughter. Most people immediately think of the Holocaust as the greatest example of this cruelty.

The sad reality is, however, that the Holocaust was only the latest in a series of murderous attempts at the genocide of the Jews.

This recent anti-Semitic attack of Mr. Brunn, an 88 year old man struck a deep cord in me. I mean for goodness sake, he’s 88 years old!!!! How much hatred can an old man have inside that he picks up a rifle and charges into a museum?

It has been said that Jews control the world, that they play with the financial resources like puppet masters pulling their strings; Hitler declared us the “moral consciousness” of humanity yet somehow made that seem a despicable thing.

How are we as Jews to react to hatred no matter what we do?

Do we preach peace as Gandhi did- and walk as lambs to the slaughter? Or do we pick up arms and fight? Both have occurred in our long suffering history.

In terms of the size of our population, the Torah states that there were about 3 million Jews were at Sinai. A more modern counting is that of James Carroll who writes that “Jews accounted for 10% of the total population of the Roman Empire. By that ratio, if other factors such as pogroms and conversions had not intervened, there would be 200 million Jews in the world today, instead of something like 13 million.” [4]

I have composed a timeline to show just a few (certainly not comprehensive) examples of acts of hatred toward Jews throughout the ages:

3rd century BCE: there are numerous examples of Greek rulers desecrating the Temple and banning Jewish religious practices, such as circumcision, Sabbath observance, study of Jewish religious books, etc. Statements exhibiting prejudice towards Jews and their religion can be found in the works of many pagan Greek and Roman writers. [3]

In 19 CE: Tiberius expelled the Jews from Rome. [ibid.]

38 CE: There were anti-Jewish riots in Alexandria; Philo of Alexandria described an attack on Jews in Alexandria in which thousands of Jews died. [ibid.]

132–136 CE: The Jerusalem Talmud relates that following Bar Kokhba’s revolt the Romans killed many Jews- “killing until their horses were submerged in blood to their nostrils.” [ibid.]

167 CE: The first accusation of murder against the Jewish people as a whole- in a sermon attributed to Melito of Sardis he stated that we were collectively responsible for the death of Jesus. The sermon was entitled Peri Pascha, “On the Passover.” [3],[5]

4th century: When Christianity became the state religion of Rome, Jews became objects of religious intolerance and political oppression. Christian literature began to display extreme hostility to Jews, and this occasionally resulted in attacks on Jews and the burning of synagogues. [3]

9th century CE: the Islamic world imposed dhimmi laws on both Christian and Jewish minorities. [ibid.]

The 11th century saw pogroms against Jews in Al-Andalus; in Cordoba in 1011 and in Granada in 1066. Decrees ordering the destruction of synagogues were enacted in the Middle Ages in Egypt, Syria, Iraq and Yemen. Jews were also forced to convert to Islam or face death in some parts of Yemen, Morocco and Baghdad at certain times. [ibid.]

1290: Jews are expelled from England by Edward I by the Statute of Jewry. Jews in Europe’s Middle-Ages faced full-scale persecution, including blood libels, expulsions, forced conversions and massacres. The general justification of prejudice against Jews in Europe was religious. Jews were frequently massacred and exiled from various European countries. The persecution hit its first peak during the Crusades. [ibid.]

1478: King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain institute the Spanish Inquisition. [6]

1493: Jews expelled from Sicily. As many as 137,000 exiled. [ibid.]

1496: Jews expelled from Portugal and from many German cities. [ibid.]

1648–1655: Ukrainian Cossack Bohdan Chmielnicki leads a massacre of Polish gentry and Jewry that leaves an estimated 65,000 Jews dead and a similar number of gentry. The total decrease in the number of Jews is estimated at 100,000. [ibid.]

1881–1884, 1903–1906, 1918–1920: Three major waves of pogroms kill tens of thousands of Jews in Russia and Ukraine. More than two million Russian Jews emigrate in the period 1881–1920. Many pogroms accompanied the Revolution of 1917 and the ensuing Russian Civil War: an estimated 70,000 to 250,000 civilian Jews were killed in the atrocities throughout the former Russian Empire; the number of Jewish orphans exceeded 300,000. [2]

1930 World Jewry: 15,000,000. Countries containing the most Jews include The US (4,000,000), Poland (3,500,000 11% of total), Soviet Union (2,700,000 2% of total), Romania (1,000,000 6% of total). Palestine 175,000 or 17% of total 1,036,000. [6]

1938 - Nazism began to arise as a political movement incorporating anti-Semitic ideas. These were expressed by Adolf Hitler in his book Mein Kampf (German for ‘My Struggle’). The Nazi regime in Germany led eventually to the Holocaust and to the Second World War. [3]

1939 - Kristallnacht (”Crystal Night” or “The Night of Broken Glass”) - In a coordinated attack on Jewish people and their property, 91 Jews were murdered and 25,000 to 30,000 were arrested and deported to concentration camps. More than 200 synagogues were destroyed and thousands of homes and businesses were ransacked. Kristallnacht was followed by further economic and political persecutions and is viewed by many historians as the beginning of the Final Solution, leading towards the genocide of the Holocaust. [7]

1939 -1945: The Holocaust

For a more complete list of Jewish history, click here or here.

As you can see from the incomplete list above, the persecution of the Jewish people has been consistent throughout every imaginable place on this planet. And this is just a partial list.

The Torah predicted (Book of Devarim; 4:27) that we would be scattered “among the peoples [of the world] and you will be left few in number among the nations where Hashem will lead you.” That prediction has proven absolutely true.

When you think about how long we’ve been around and compare our numbers to, say, the Chinese nation- who has grown to billions in a similar time period- it’s interesting to see how we’ve maintained our culture but have not managed to expand in number. This can not be explained by natural means.

The hatred of the Jewish people is baseless, yet the nations of the world have and will continue to find reasons. The latest incarnation of this hatred is Anti-Zionism - the hatred for the modern State of Israel, the home of the majority of the Jewish people today. Anti-Zionism is a very loose translation for the same irrational hatred that we’ve always dealt with and is at its essence pure Anti-Semitism. In fact, in 1968, the state-organized anti-Semitic campaign in the People’s Republic of Poland under guise of “anti-Zionism” drove out most of remaining Jewish population. [8]

The only hope we have is the knowledge that just as silver is smelted in order to purify it and allow its precious value to be revealed, we, too, as a people go through the furnaces of history and somehow emerge intact and more determined than ever to hold onto our heritage and live as Jews in the world.

May we be blessed to have the strength to survive the torture and the hatred of those who do not understand and remember always that we are here with purpose- to be “lights unto the nations.”

Three Days Grace, a popular rock band, made the phrase “It’s never too late” extremely popular. The song’s title and lyrics resonated with their fans and became a major hit. And that message of hope that it’s “never too late” is, in my opinion, the reason for its success.

It seems to me that they were trying to say that our dreams are always possible- that the only limitations we have are our fears. Now, I know it sounds cliche, but having a positive attitude and being able to see the good endows us with the strength to go after what we really want out of life.

An interesting lyric from the musical Into the Woods suggests: “Wishes may bring problems such that you regret them- better that, though, than to never get them…” However, from personal experience, I would suggest that you think long and hard about your dreams; they may not be all that you expected when you’re finally living them.

For as long as I can remember growing up all I wanted out of life was to travel. It was the only dream or goal that I had. So as soon as I turned 21 I donned my trusty backpack and went off to travel the continent of Europe.

Many countries and months later, I found myself alone on a mountain top looking out over the magnificent azure of the Adriatic Coast. “Now what?” I remember thinking. “Where do I go from here?” I’d been living my dream, but had no idea what to do next.

I decided to delve deeper and ask myself the tough questions:
What do I really want?
Where am I going?
What’s the purpose of my life?

I had all these questions, but no answers. Looking at that serene scene surrounding me, I realized that my traveling was just an escape from my life- and though I bounced from destination to destination, none of these places could ever be my final destination. At least not the way I had been living up until then. The traveling was only part of the process of the journey of finding the answers to those larger than life questions.

The Torah says that man was created “B’zelem Elokim”, or “In the image of G-d.” This means that, like G-d, we are able to create great works and ponder the world. In fact, not only are we able but we are obligated. We are charged with being “holy to our G-d”.

This responsibility is massive. It means that there is more to life than fulfilling our physical pleasures. Within us, we have such awesome power that if we don’t investigate our true essence and being, then we’re misappropriating the gift of life that we’ve been granted.

Think of the concept of “one-ness”, the Jewish eternal cry - “Shema Yisrael, Hashem Elokeinu, Hashem Echad” “Listen, O Israel, Hashem is our G-d, Hashem is one!” We say this prayer every day. G-d is one. There is nothing outside of G-d. Therefore, you and I and everything that exists is one too. So, any thought, shame or desire we have as individuals is shared in the “G-d Consciousness” that is ALL. We may feel alone, but it is only us who separate ourselves from each other.

The fact that we live, breathe, cry and laugh is a sign that G-d is willing us to do so. If not, according to the Kabbalah, we would just blink out of existence. I find this concept so comforting. Even when I don’t see my own value, I know that G-d does.

No matter where one stands in life, no matter what the past held or what the future promises…
its never too late. Not to late to change; not too late to reflect; not too late to improve upon ourselves and our place in the world. And it’s NEVER too late to get closer to G-d.

Staying focused in this world of distraction can be very difficult. We’ve got so many things that demand our time and attention that it’s hard to decide what to focus on! However, having a specific and defined goal can be helpful in keeping one on the road to achieving one’s goals.

One aspect that’s highly beneficial to us achieving our ambitions is to have a teacher or a person in our lives that can give objective support and guidance.

After recently getting married, I can tell you personally that having a rabbi who has listened and given an outside perspective was an invaluable grounding force for my budding relationship.

I do have to admit, however, that finding that rabbi was a life-long and extremely difficult process.

When I first began becoming more involved in the Jewish world I started to learn from the book Pirkei Avot (or “The Ethics of our Fathers”). One statement in particular struck a nerve:

Rabbi Yehoshua Ben Perachya says, “Make for yourself a teacher…” (Pirkei Avot - Chapter 1, Mishna 6)

I always wondered what I would have to do to “make” (or find) my very own Rav (personal Rabbi). The concept was puzzling and concerned me - especially since I had always envisioned myself as a rebel. Having a rabbi decide things for me or tell me what to do was not an idea I found appealing in the least.

As I grew spiritually and started to understand the world a little more, it dawned on me: “making for myself a teacher” was not about giving up my free choice, but rather it entailed developing a relationship with someone I respect and admire. This would be a deep relationship- one that would be a constant work in progress; and this individual would really get to know who I was, where I can from and what I intended on doing with my life.

In order to build this type of relationship I realized I had to let go of the preconceived notion of “nobody tells me what to do!”- simply because in this particular circumstance it just didn’t apply. This teacher that I had now “made” was a person who had my best interests at heart and also had the life experience and Torah knowledge to be able to guide me in places where I couldn’t guide myself- whether because I had no objectivity or had no prior understanding or knowledge of the topic.

I just turned thirty this year (I know, *GHASP*, she told her age! Tabooooo…..) and until the beginning of last year I had never met a single person who would fit that void. In 2008, however, I was blessed to meet not just one such individual but two! Both of these teachers have had a massive influence on my life and have helped me gain insight and self-discipline.

I consider myself very fortunate as far as my rabbinic experiences go. Still, there are many people who have had negative experiences with their rabbis. Oftentimes, those that have that title “Rabbi” assume they have the right to judge, comment or criticize those who come to them for love and support. However, usually the best rabbis (or at least the best ones I’ve come across) are those who behave quite the opposite.

So what is a Rabbi or Teacher?

Well, the definition of a Rabbi (as per dictionary.com) is:
1. A person trained in Jewish law, ritual, and tradition and ordained for leadership of a Jewish congregation, especially one serving as chief religious official of a synagogue.
2. A scholar qualified to interpret Jewish law.

And the definition of a teacher is:
1. One who imparts knowledge or skill to
2. One who conditions to a certain action or frame of mind
3. One who causes to learn by example or experience

Not every person that has the title Rabbi has the wisdom, life experience or empathy that’s assumed to be connected to that role.

Not necessarily every Rabbi is a teacher, nor are they always right.

I believe that we, as a people, need good teachers. There are many respected rabbis, but the focus may need to shift from the title “rabbi” to the impact their words and deeds have on us as individuals and as a community.

There’s a sorely felt need for those that can be both a Talmid Chacham (wise man) and yetalso lead by example (living and breathing Torah), be non-judgmental and, most importantly, love all of B’nai Yisrael unconditionally.

I’d like to give us all the blessing that we make our rabbi/our teacher into our confidant; and that this relationship leads us to discover the rabbi/teacher within us. Our neshama, our soul, the Divine Spark, wants only good and to serve the Creator of the Universe - it just needs to be taught the way. May the soul in each of us be taught to soar, and may the true teachers of Yisrael stand up and be heard.

Thousands of years ago, the Jewish people, united as a nation, stood together at the foot of Mount Sinai to receive the word of G-d. This is the only incident of mass revelation in the entire history of any religion that has ever existed. Today, we, as members of that same Jewish people, still celebrate this Holy event.

Shavuot is a holiday during which it’s customary to stay up all night and learn. You might say to yourself: ‘Ok, sure. I can stay up all night with my cup of Coffee Bean coffee, but what should I learn?’ And you can answer ‘Self (or however you refer to your subconscious), maybe we should learn the same things we got all those thousands of years ago’

Once a person comes to that conclusion, they might still be conflicted about a couple of things. 1) Surely after all the time that’s passed since we’ve received the Torah at Mount Sinai we must’ve learnt it all by now, right? 2) And besides is it even relevant today?

Well, to answer question number 1- nope, not at all. There’s still so much to learn it’s incredible! What we received back then was something eternal and alive. And just as both individuals and as a nation changes and shifts, so does the Torah. Over time it has taken on a life of its own, and it is a source of spiritual nourishment for the Jewish people. In fact, the Torah has been given the status of water- it is the one thing that no man, plant or animal can live without.

The Torah, like water, is constantly flowing, and the molecules that make up that water are its words. These direct and Divine words of the Creator of the Universe, were what were given over to the Jewish people on Shavuot- as a covenant directly from G-d to Moshe at Mount Sinai, and from Moshe to us.

Whoa - that sounds a little heavy. What does it actually mean, a ‘covenant‘? Well, it’s a two-part thing. G-d gave the laws and we received them. Now, that may sound like two different things, but if you think about getting a gift, the person giving it has to want you to have it, and you need to accept it. So when we received the 10 commandments from G-d, we agreed to follow his laws, statutes and ordinances for the rest of our lives.

The Jews, unified as one body, declared their loyalty and service to G-d and our dedication to that promise is the reason for our miraculous existence today.

The lines between our past, present and future share this common theme of service of God. We’ve died for this covenant, suffered enormously, but have also rejoiced and celebrated in the fulfillment of these words.

The Torah tells us that God wants to shower us with blessing; to give us a land of milk and honey; to allow us to no longer work by the sweat of our brow. But rather to take the time to focus on our spiritual being and to be able to learn and grow so we can serve Him in more elevated ways.

We also have a responsibility to teach others and raise the spiritual consciousness of all people. As the Maharal 16th century Talmudic scholar wrote in “Tiferet Yisrael” (a philosophical exposition of the Torah meant to be studied on Shavuot) - we are more than just animal souls, we are elevated beings with a thinking soul and a need for spiritual sustenance.

These are difficult goals to strive towards. Are we really capable of reaching such spiritual heights?

Not only are we able, but that’s what we are created for. All we need to do to make this reality here and now is to allow ourselves to receive. To fulfill our purpose and find meaning in our lives we need to clear ourselves of our ego.

Imagine yourself as a vessel- a gorgeous crystal vase. Now, God wants to pour bounty and blessing into our vase. However, if our vase is full of regret or pain or self importance, then there will be no room to receive.

Wisdom and growth in our lives can come slowly over time. We fill our ‘vases’ with experience, laughter and sometimes even suffering. The key, though, is to continually be able to accept what comes our way, save the ‘nutrients’ that benefit us from each event, and clear out space to allow for further growth. This way, we can have the full benefit of the lessons of life, yet continue to live and learn without end.

This Shavuot, I’d like to give us all the blessing that we can see our pasts with clarity, learn what we can from those experiences and let them go with love. Imagine how much we can receive in our futures with hope and optimism and the wisdom of our pasts that keep us remaining firmly grounded in the gift of today.

After the first night of Pesach, where we as Jews celebrate the exodus of Egypt from slavery to freedom, there is a special commandment to count each evening with a blessing until the Holiday of Shavuot when we celebrate the receiving of the Torah from G-d on Mt. Sinai,

What is this counting? Why are we doing it?

When we left Egypt, we left as slaves- finally liberated from the bondage we had been enslaved with for over 200 years. However, by the time we actually received the Torah at Sinai we were not only a free people comprised of individuals, but we essentially became a unified whole; a mass of human beings that were so united in purpose and understanding that we were identified as “guf echad” - one body. This incident of unanimity is the foundation of the Jewish people. How is it that several million people reached this level of “achdut – brotherhood or unity”?

Egypt was hell for the Jewish people. The suffering experienced there was more than most of us today can conceive and it lasted for more than two centuries! Yet, somehow out of the ashes of that fiery inferno came the strength to leave it all behind and the desire of the Jewish people to serve something greater than their Egyptian taskmasters.

Avraham, the forefather of the Jewish people, debated and plead with G-d not to destroy Sodom & Gomorrah- despite these cities being immoral and depraved societies. “Perhaps,” Abraham argued, “there are some people who live there who deserve to be spared?” After learning that there weren’t even 10 individuals worth saving, Avraham finally relented.

Why is it then, that after arguing so enthusiastically for a place where there weren’t even 10 people worth saving, that when informed of his own ancestors future descent into Egypt and forced slavery for hundreds of years, that Avraham did not utter a word? This takes some serious pondering.

One possibility is that we, the Jewish people were the proverbial “diamond in the rough.” Only through the suffering and darkness of that time, could we as a nation be refined from our hardened, coal-like state and honed into a diamond- a people who knew the meaning of servitude and, in turn, would now be able to distinguish and appreciate the difference between being slaves to our worldly desires and true freedom.

Success is only attained through effort, and according to the effort, such is the reward.

Our people have strained and suffered through history over and over again to live up to the status of The Chosen People.

However, as The Chosen People we have been pursued (as in the Egyptians pursuing us at the Red Sea), persecuted (during the Spanish Inquisition, for example), and destroyed (physically in the smoldering ovens of the Holocaust; and spiritually during the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem). Many Jews have beseeched G-d to revoke our ‘Chosen’ status.

That begs the question: Are we Chosen, or are we required to Choose?

During the Counting of the Omer, every single day we choose; choose to take a step towards the Service of G-d’s Holiness; choose to move towards being good people; and choose to create good in this world. We use our experiences as a people, and the wisdom that experience has granted us to learn from the past and create a better future. But what is ‘wisdom,’ anyway?

“Wisdom is an ideal that has been celebrated since antiquity as the knowledge needed to live a good life.” This is the definition given by that great knower of all..that is…Wikipedia

So, how are we to use this wisdom and live the said ‘good life’? Well, that seems to depend on what we want. Wisdom is only a tool- a means to an end.

So what is it we strive for? How do we define ‘success’? I think the biggest question we need to ask ourselves is what we really see when we look at ourselves in the mirror? It’s a tough question, and oftentimes, the answer can be disturbing or uncomfortable. But by facing this question and reflecting upon our inner selves, we can really begin to utilize our wisdom in a positive manner.

According to Rabbi Noach Weinberg, there are 48 ways to reach wisdom in this world; and they are not what one may think. Sure, a degree from an Ivy League University is nice, but somehow it doesn’t seem to make his list. Just a few of the items he categorizes are:
“Listening effectively”
“Living life with constant joy”
“The Power of Awe”
“Mastering Fear”

If each Jew leaving Egypt mastered all of the 48 ways to wisdom as they counted the days from 1 to 48, and reviewed it all on the 49th day, then by the 50th day, Shavuot, they would be worthy and ready to receive the word of G-d and the instructions or codes for living life as free people. This entails living a life of meaning, of depth, of joy and, yes, a life of service.

If we are really honest with ourselves, we all serve something in this world; whether its money, beauty, power or success- we choose our master. So, the question becomes how do we define freedom?

This time, during the Counting of the Omer, we have a greater strength to choose growth, deeper understanding and goodness.

As the Torah clearly states:
“I have put before you this day life and death, blessing and curse. Choose life, so you and your offspring shall live” - Deuteronomy 30:19

Only a slave to the Truth, can be truly Free.

In today’s world it seems the word ‘appreciation’ is just not appreciated enough.

Think what an absolutely different world we would live in if individuals took it upon themselves to simply use the word “thanks” a little more often. It seems, however, that the ability to feel and show gratitude is a character trait that has fallen through the cracks and is not emphasized, taught and encouraged nearly as much as it should be.

In fact, at a young age we’re taught quite the opposite: the idea of self-sufficiency and independence. We learn that we must be strong and take what we want if we wish to get ahead in the world. When people get in our way, we need to figure out how to maneuver around them and get to the top to make our dreams a reality. And once we get there, well, we did all the work and we alone have earned it! All those who helped us along the way and guided and supported us, well, they’re not really that important anyway, right?

So, how do we address this feeling of entitlement that seems to permeate our everyday existence? When attacking an issue like this, empathy must come into play. I believe that people should follow their dreams. However, there is no need for that to impact the quality with which we treat others or the amount of appreciation we have for what we’ve already been blessed with. How often do we tell those closest to us that we’re grateful to have them in our lives? Far more often it takes losing a person to realize how much they really mean to us.

Hillel, one of the greatest Jewish scholars of all time described the essence of Judaism as such: “Love your brother as you would love yourself.”

Or, in other words, treat others as you yourself would like to be treated. Imagine yourself in another person’s shoes and you can really appreciate what they do for you. The school janitor, or the checkout bag-person, or even subordinates at work; these are all people who do work for you and are paid to do it- but that doesn’t make what they do any less valuable.

Jewish tradition gives us some clues with the blessings included in the morning service. Here are a few to give you a taste:

“Blessed are You, God, King of the Universe, who gave the heart understanding to distinguish between day and night”

“Blessed are You, God, King of the Universe, who clothes the naked”

“Blessed are You, God, King of the Universe, who releases the bound”

“Blessed are You, God, King of the Universe, Who has provided me my every need”

“Blessed are You, God, King of the Universe, Who gives strength to the weary.”

Why do we simply not just have one blessing which includes all of the above? They are separated in order for us to be able to show gratitude for EACH thing that G-d does for us- be it giving us clothes, providing for us, or giving us strength to get up in the morning.

Imagine waking each morning and sincerely thanking the Creator of the World that one is able to rise from bed, to be in full control of bodily functions, to enjoy a nutritious breakfast of one’s choosing, to be heartened by the aroma of that morning kick of caffeine. How sweet each day could be if we got up grateful to be alive?

We are the most privileged nation and people on the planet and yet somehow many of us choose to be unhappy and unappreciative of the gifts we are given every single day. It is easy to get up and focus on the challenges life offers. The traffic on the way to the office; the less than ideal job; family trials and tribulations or whatever unique problems persist. But why would you choose to be miserable with what you don’t have? Wouldn’t life be better if we focused on what we do?

Pirkei Avot – The Ethics of our Fathers teach us:
“Who is rich? He who is satisfied with his lot”

Living in Los Angeles we all know people trying to make it. The search for happiness abounds. Is it possible we are searching for something that we already contain within us? If we can take a moment to recognize and feel gratitude for what we do have rather than what we lack, who knows how much closer we can get to the destination of our long journey for happiness!

Suppose there’s a jigsaw puzzle composed of 10 000 pieces- our eyes immediately focus on the one piece that may be missing. Such is our awareness of our lives. But what if we stand back a little and look at the whole picture? Let’s see the gorgeous tapestry of the image of the many whole and integral pieces that already comprise our reality. Let’s focus on the multiple aspects of our lives that are functioning well and happily. Through that shift of energy and focus, it’s possible to feel the joy, meaning and inspiration we seek.

So the next time you’re checking out your groceries or using your co-worker’s hard work, remember to look them in the eye and utter the simple phrase ‘Thank you’; because the little things like that are the things that people really appreciate.

“Blessed art thou and thank you, G-d, for making me a woman.”

Yes, I know that’s a slight deviation from the actual blessing, but that is truly representative of how I feel.

Nissan, the lunar month that started last night with Jconnect’s Rosh Chodesh Celebration, is known as the first month of the Jewish calendar.

It’s the month of the exodus and the redemption of the Jewish people from the slavery of Egypt.

This is a month that our inclinations towards “evil” are abated and therefore we can focus our energies on growth and defining true freedom.

The reason given for the particular celebration of the new month by Jewish women is that women refused to participate in the building of the golden calf.

The women would not hand over their jewelry for this project. Sounds pretty obvious enough to say… Sure, women would never hand over their jewelry… after all diamonds are a girl’s best friend, right?

Wrong. When it was time to build the Tabernacle, the women nearly fell over themselves rushing to give their gold and jewels and be able to take part in its construction. So, what was it about the Golden Calf that caused us to defy our community and take such a stand?

Being part of the monthly Women’s Gathering brings home this reason to me each month.

There are women of different ages and different backgrounds who regularly gather together to celebrate their Judaism. No matter who speaks and what is discussed I am always struck by the depth and the quality and the searching that these women express.

It’s a small wonder that we, the Jewish women, would never be satisfied with a golden substitute for the truth, but rather would rebel and risk everything- even rebelling against our husbands (a HUGE deal in Biblical times)- to wait for the return of Moses. Nowadays, that translates into waiting for the word of G-d, and not putting our energies into frivolous pursuits. We must use our intuitive sense of truth.

This particular gathering’s topic was “Mindful Awareness”. We got to meditate on our breathing and allow our thoughts float across our minds like clouds across the sky. We learned that just as the sky does not get attached or upset by the passing clouds or even a gorgeous rainbow so too can we allow these thoughts to move over us without allowing ourselves to be thrown into a state of anger or sadness. While it is important to recognize our emotions, once we do so, we move towards being free of their hold over us.

That concept brings us to the real topic for the month: FREEDOM. As a teenager that was my big goal in life: I just wanted to be free. I’ve surprised myself as well as others by the amount that my definition of the word ‘freedom’ has changed over the years.

Back in my teenage years it was: Do what thou wilt is the whole of the law. I ran amuck and caused as much trouble as possible; being proud of not being tied to a morality system that was restrictive and boring.

As I’ve matured as an individual I saw with some shame and humility that chasing my own pleasures was not true freedom.

A phrase that really got me and was the catalyst for some radical changes was: Only a slave to the truth can be truly free.

I did not want to see myself as a slave… that hurt. But recognizing that we ultimately serve one thing or another, serving truth seems to be in line with integrity and a journey of refinement of soul.

On this day, the first day of Nissan, the Jewish priests (Kohanim) were desginated to serve G-d. The way of service was described in depth in the Torah. Nadav and Avihu, two sons of Aaron (the first High Priest and the brother of Moses) came to serve God. They did not follow instructions, instead serving in the way they chose. The result was spontaneous human combustion. Pretty harsh. But the point gets made. G-d wants us to serve Him; serving ourselves is the antithesis of serving G-d.

Our inner essence is the Divine Spark; that is our connection to the Almighty. That “pintele yid” knows G-d and wants to serve Him. The rest of our body, including the mind and heart, seeks to serve what it understands of the external world that seems so real. As Jews, we have to fight that urge and do instead of serving the external world, use it to serve Him.

The lesson of Pesach and the month of Nissan is to know ourselves at the deepest level of who we truly are: Children of G-d, choosing freely to serve Him, knowing we are loved and chosen for this service.

May we all seek and find our core, and through this awareness be able to heighten our service and know we serve truth!